Swiftpolitics’ Tom Durfey recently interviewed a leader of the tea party movement. He goes by the name Mad Hatter. Here’s the transcript.
Tom…Why are you wearing a coonskin hat ?
Mad Hatter…Fess Parker just died.
Tom…Are you relating to his role as Davy Crockett ?
Mad Hatter…No. Walt Disney was a socialist. It keeps my head warm.
Tom…Why are you so angry with republicans ?
Mad Hatter…Because the democrats ignore us.
Tom…What are your beliefs ?
Mad Hatter…We must return to the ideals of the founding fathers.
Tom…And they are what ?
Mad Hatter…Screw everyone who doesn’t agree with us.
Tom…But doesn’t the first amendment guarantee free speech ?
Mad Hatter…Only if they carry a gun and are white. Just like the founding fathers.
Tom…Why are you against the health care reform bill that is now the law of the land ?
Mad Hatter…Are you kidding ? It’s the best thing that ever happened to us ! Our ranks are growing every day.
Tom…What are your views on health care ?
Mad Hatter…I have AIG. What the heck do I care ?
Tom…Don’t you think the tea party is skirting too close to violence ?
Mad Hatter…How would you like a punch in the face ?
Tom…Why do you carry signs with pictures of Obama as all those nasty characters ?
Mad Hatter…A lot of our followers don’t read too well.
Tom…Are those guns you carry loaded ?
Mad Hatter…Not as much as we are. Would you like a beer ?
Tom…What does Sarah Palin bring to your movement ?
Mad Hatter…Short skirts.
Tom…Do you think your movement is misunderstood ?
Mad Hatter…Are you kidding ? You can’t even get my name right !
Tom…It’s not Mad Hatter ?
Mad Hatter…No ! It’s MAD H-A-T-E-R !
